“I’ve seen this moment before.”
That’s what I said to the girl beside me. My reaction afterward proved that although I had experienced something similar, my current feelings about the situation were very real, very new, and to be honest, I was frightened.
You would think that I would be brave about something I’d experienced before but I have since learnt that I forget easily.
In the struggle, I prayed, cried, fasted, trusted God and eventually it all worked out. I tell myself now to remember that it worked out for me then and it would now, however, my brain has a vivid picture of my sufferings and keeps it on repeat till all I am is a vessel wrecked with fears.
I think of the Israelites and all the wonderful works God carried out, the miracles he performed in their presence. Despite these, they never remembered God’s ability to rescue them, instead they complained, queried him and fought him every step of the way.
I remember thinking how foolish they were; weren’t they the same people who witnessed the parting of the red sea, walked on dry land with high walls of water on both sides, what a sight! Still…
It made me realise the huge love of God towards us. He knows we are flawed and can and will deny him, but his love for us sees beyond that and instead, he sees us at our best.
Did I condemn myself before? Yes, I did. Do I believe now that God not only knows my limitations but is praying for me, strengthening me along the way, and will get me through anything? Yes, without a doubt.
I have been courting with Grace, and I find it the most special blessing to mankind. Grace requires no qualifications nor self effort, it is a gift to be received with open arms and cherished. It is that Grace through Christ Jesus that is at work in our lives.
Hallelujah!
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Brazen with Vanessa 