Forerunner

For a moment I thought I saw him entering a store, just in front of the waiting area where I sat waiting for my flight to be called. But I must be wrong because Bode would never be caught dead at an airport.

It was the one thing we’d always argued about; my itchy feet and love for adventure versus his steady legs and lack of zeal for change.

We met in OOU, at the motion ground where all faculties melded into one. It was the only place outside of the admin building and sporting area, where the Arts and Sciences encountered each other. That was exactly our story; I was a 200L Agricultural Extension student and he was a 200L Theatre Arts student, with nothing in common.

That should have been my first clue but it was his eyes, they told me I could trust him. He had this way of looking right at me, like he could see me, like he knew something about me that I hadn’t discovered yet.

The first time our eyes locked—him, waiting to get change from the woman selling cold drinks, and me, walking with my friend to the bookstore, I looked away first because I was suddenly uncomfortable. It was an intimate look which I wasn’t used to. I’d dated in the past but none of them had ever looked at me that way.

That afternoon he found me in my department, walked right into the class and sat in front of me. When he turned around to face me, I wondered what he would say. But he didn’t say anything, only stared at me, much to the amusement of my friend who burst into laughter when she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Zeenat, you done jam werey!” she exclaimed in pidgin.

To that he responded, with his eyes still on me, “Although my name is Bode, only she can call me werey if she agrees to go on a date with me.”

His words said one thing and his eyes said another. Those damn eyes dared me to take him on and Lord, the next two years in Uni were the most frantic, thrilling years I’d ever experienced in my life. No adventure after him ever matched the high he gave me.

On our first date, I lost my senses and virginity to him. By our third date, he’d convinced me to move in with him without the knowledge of my parents. He was steady and wild at the same time, when all I’d ever known was passivity.

He spoke in capital letters and followed through with action. He spoke about his plans to go into the film industry as a producer. He didn’t want to be in front of the camera where stars were born, he figured the stories made the stars and was content to be behind the scenes.

I told him all the things I never had the chance to say at home and how I’d always wanted to run away, finish school and never return.

He told me he was what I’d been waiting for and we would do all the things I wanted to experience.

I told him I never wanted to get pregnant because I’d already parented my siblings and I didn’t want to waste my new found freedom bringing children into the world. He told me I would love our children and would make a good mother since I’d already gotten the experience early on.

I told him I wanted to travel and see the world, and he told me my world was safe with him.

On the night of our graduation, our bodies still warm from each other, he proposed and those eyes begged me to say yes, but I could already see the signs and knew that although I loved him and he might be my forever, what I was running from was much bigger than the both of us.

I was running for the little girl I never got to be, for the life I’d envisioned for myself in the moments when I’d wished for space, to be selfish, to not be burdened with responsibilities. He’d been my only selfish act; mine and no one else’s, to live with, play with, love.

In that moment when he proposed, I did my second act of selfishness: I chose myself.

***

The boarding announcement pulled me out of my reverie and just as I turned around to pick up my suitcase, our eyes locked.

Bode Gbadamosi, 2024 Golden Globe Award winner for Best Drama Picture, for the movie “Forerunner.” Back in Uni, he used to tease me about writing my life story and would come up with crazy endings to scare me.

The word “Werey” spilled out of me unconsciously and I caught the look in his eyes. In Uni, I’d learnt to read his expressions, and from his current expression, if we were 20 and 19, we would be burning for each other. However, I chose to believe I read him wrongly and waited for him to approach me.

“You haven’t changed one bit,” he said.

His words were music to my ears, and although it was years ago, it brought me back to being 19 and hot for him, like nothing had changed. Which wasn’t real; he’d gone on to achieve all that he said he would and had done the things he’d argued fiercely that he wouldn’t do.

“You have,” and I was happy for him.

We both looked up as the last boarding call was announced. He nodded to my suitcase, and with a resigned smile, asked, “Still running?“

He didn’t know the half of it, and there wasn’t enough time to tell him I might be chasing shadows, but I could tell him the truth.

“Of all the endings you talked about,” he became puzzled. I carried on speaking, “you chose the right one.”

As the light of understanding dawned on him, I quickly said, “Goodbye Bode, and congratulations.” I didn’t wait for his response, instead I walked in the opposite direction where my next adventure waited.

In the Forerunner, the girl met the love of her life and stopped running. Together, they settled into a new chapter of their lives.

I like to think that that was us in another world, and we got our perfect ending.