Many times, I wonder about the reactions of parents whose daughter rebelled against gender roles.
The first time she said, “No, I don’t want to join the other girls to sew, I want to play in the treehouse with the boys.”
“No, I want to study, I love reading. I don’t want to act like I’m dumb to soothe a man’s ego.”
I wonder about gender roles and what became of that little girl. Did she have the fire snuffed out of her? Was she told what she should and shouldn’t aspire for? Did she grow up to become a rebel or did she go the path she was groomed for?
I’ve come across the phrase, be seen and not heard, and it was used for women. For the life of me, I can’t imagine been shut down by the society for having a voice. Men having the power to do as they please and women aiding and abetting their oppressors, telling their daughters and sisters to mould themselves into a man’s preference because that’s all they’re good for.
This reminds me of a verse in a poem by Crystal Valentine and Aaliyah Jihad, To Be Black And Woman And Alive
They said, “Behind every great man is the woman who taught him to load the ammunition, behind every great man is the woman who pulled the trigger…”
And I, 100% agree with them.
I think back on how the suffragettes started; the women who ensured that I could vote today, who ensured that women had a voice and a seat in government. Who fought and died for equality. I remember the woman who stood in the middle of a horse race while it went on, and was crushed to her death. She understood that in order for her cause to be heard and seen, she needed to make a bold statement, and her life was the price.
I think about my father who doesn’t see women as anything other than a personal assistant, a cook and a cleaner, someone to bear his children. No amount of success will make a female as significant as a male to him.
I think about the future generation, I wonder what they would say of us, the things we allowed and didn’t allow. Our struggle for relevance and merit as it is given to our male counterparts. I wonder, will they still be told that their value rests between their thighs.
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Brazen with Vanessa 