How is it that when women openly admit that they’re interested in a relationship, there is a subtle shame attached to it, an air of desperation even?
No one bats an eye when men go on Tinder looking for dates but when a women does it, she must really need a relationship badly or she’s horny.
Can we stop with the shaming and let women breathe!
However it was in the past, we’re in a different era. Women vote now, have a right to own and build businesses, work in corporate offices, run for presidency and what have you. We also have the right to seek for love and be loved, whichever way pleases us.
I was listening to Jazmine Sullivan and H.E.R, Girl like me, and it really hit me what us girls go through in the name of relationship. When you have been conditioned that if you behave in a certain way you would get a great guy (As per ultimate prize that they are 😒) and when this doesn’t happen you begin to doubt yourself and years of training.
Am I doing the right thing? What is wrong with me?
The song even suggests that women start thinking of turning a new leaf and doing things opposite from their training AKA “Good girl” standard.
Before I continue, I want you queens to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Don’t let a guy determine if you’re worthy, cute or nah. Never put that power in a man’s hands or else, they will put you through the wringer, roll you in mud. We don’t want that and you deserve better!
Let’s break down this “Good girl” standard; you never sleep with a guy on a first date, you don’t wear stripper clothes, you’re working a legit job, you’re not looking to dig for gold, you’re willing to cook and clean and be homely with the guy you like…things like that.
Reality is, well according to the song, the hoes stay winning. Who are the hoes (and why, for God’s sakes, do we have to label women this title?😩)?
For one, they’re not waiting for nobody, they come and go as they please. Say what you want about them, they don’t care; your opinions don’t buy weave in the market. They take care of their appearance, they’re open about their wants and their targets are men willing to spend. These “hoes” don’t want to meet your mama, just spend your money on them and don’t get caught up in all the attention they shower you. It doesn’t last and their next target is just a call away. But for some reason, guys want them! These girls might break your heart, they might even be sweet about it but you see guys, they keep coming back for more. Meanwhile, our “good sisters” can’t even get a call back after making sure they don’t appear a burden or a woman after your money.
You go from man to man, you’re labelled a hoe. You keep to yourself and date once in a while, you’re tagged a “goody-two shoes”. Bottom line, my sisters ain’t winning.
Men do whatever they want, they’re found everywhere; on Tinder, at the mall, at the coffee shop, the market…open to relationships wherever it appear and no one calls them names. So I ask that same respect be accorded my sisters.
FYI: Ladies we’re one! You’re not a hoe, neither are you cold. We’re queens! Queens are go-getters, they make things happen and if a relationship is what you want and it isn’t happening like you envisioned, I won’t say 2022 isn’t your year, but I will say, time, unlike popular opinion, is your friend and things will happen in the way they’re supposed to. Learn from it!